ClassiC DefinitionS and CooL MeaningS

• Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
• Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
• Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
• Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
• Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
• Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

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MatH JokeS

• Q: How does one insult a mathematician?
  A: You say: "Your brain is smaller than any $\epsilon>0$"
• Q: What does a mathematician present to his fiance when he wants to propose?
  A: A polynomial ring!
• A mathematician is asked by a friend who is a devout Christian: "Do you believe in one God?" He answers: "Yes - up to isomorphism."
• The shortest math joke: let epsilon be less than $0$.
• A physicist and an engineer are in a hot-air balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost in a canyon somewhere. They yell out for help: "Helllloooooo! Where are we?" 15 minutes later, they hear an echoing voice: "Helllloooooo! You're in a hot-air balloon!!" The physicist says, "That must have been a mathematician." The engineer asks, "Why do you say that?" The physicist replied: "The answer was absolutely correct, and it was utterly useless."
• Teacher: Now suppose the number of sheep is $x$...
  Student: Yes sir, but what happens if the number of sheep is not $x$?

To see a large collection of such jokes click here .

• Take \begin{align*} Radius&=z\\ Width&=a. \end{align*} Then $$Volume=pi\cdot z\cdot\cdot z \cdot a=pizza.$$
  
• Expand $(a+b)^n$.
  Solution: \begin{align*} (a+b)^n &= (a\; +\; b)^{n}\\ &= (a\;\; +\;\; b)^{n}\\ &= (a\;\;\; +\;\;\; b)^{n}\\ &= (a\;\;\;\; +\;\;\;\; b)^{n}\\ &= (a\;\;\;\;\; +\;\;\;\;\; b)^{n}\\ &= \ldots \end{align*}

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• Mark Twain had a large collection of books. Books were randomly scattered in his room in such a way that it was difficult to walk in his room. Once, one of his friends asked him 'you collected so many books but why don't you use a book-shelf'. Mark Twain answered seriously, 'I can borrow books from my friends but I can't borrow book-shelves from them.'

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