ClassiC DefinitionS and CooL MeaningS
 Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of
the students without passing through "the minds of either".
 Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
 Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees
later on.
 Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
 Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
 Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
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MatH JokeS

Q: How does one insult a mathematician?
A: You say: "Your brain is smaller than any $\epsilon>0$"

Q: What does a mathematician present to his fiance when he wants to propose?
A: A polynomial ring!

A mathematician is asked by a friend who is a devout Christian: "Do you believe in one
God?" He answers: "Yes  up to isomorphism."
 The shortest math joke: let epsilon be less than $0$.
 A physicist and an engineer are in a hotair balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost in
a canyon somewhere. They yell out for help: "Helllloooooo! Where are we?" 15 minutes later,
they hear an echoing voice: "Helllloooooo! You're in a hotair balloon!!"
The physicist says, "That must have been a mathematician."
The engineer asks, "Why do you say that?"
The physicist replied: "The answer was absolutely correct, and it was utterly useless."

Teacher: Now suppose the number of sheep is $x$...
Student: Yes sir, but what happens if the number of sheep is not $x$?
To see a large collection of such jokes
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Take
\begin{align*}
Radius&=z\\
Width&=a.
\end{align*}
Then
$$Volume=pi\cdot z\cdot\cdot z \cdot a=pizza.$$
 Expand $(a+b)^n$.
Solution:
\begin{align*}
(a+b)^n &= (a\; +\; b)^{n}\\
&= (a\;\; +\;\; b)^{n}\\
&= (a\;\;\; +\;\;\; b)^{n}\\
&= (a\;\;\;\; +\;\;\;\; b)^{n}\\
&= (a\;\;\;\;\; +\;\;\;\;\; b)^{n}\\
&= \ldots
\end{align*}
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 Mark Twain had a large collection of books. Books were randomly scattered in his room in
such a way that it was difficult to walk in his room. Once, one of his friends asked him 'you
collected so many books but why don't you use a bookshelf'. Mark Twain answered seriously,
'I can borrow books from my friends but I can't borrow bookshelves from them.'
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